Hey, babes! I always want to be open with you guys and ensure that this blog is more than surface level. So, I wanted to open up about some heath struggles that I’ve been facing for about 2 years now. PSA: this is a LONG POST ALERT. Also,FYI: not even some of my friends know some of these things. It’s not to say that I’m not open, because I’d like to think I’m a very open, trusting person. I crave connection, but there are certain things in life that you want to protect from the world, things you’re not ready to be vulnerable with, because you haven’t even quite come to terms with them yet. But, I guess I’m ready to be vulnerable about what I’ve been through and all the ugliness I’ve felt and endured.
I guess it started with irregular periods-great topic to start off with, right? Bear with me. I was on the pill to regulate my virtually nonexistent period, but the pill was giving me a period every 2 weeks (wth!). My gynecologist diagnosed me with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), but referred me to an endocrinologist for additional hormonal testing. The endo (endocrinologist, in shorthand) found that I had hypothyroidism. I was put on thyroid medication, along with my PCOS meds to help alleviate my exhaustion, fatigue, night sweats, and irregular cycle to name a few. Things were ok health wise, but my personal life had hit an all-time high when my boyfriend had proposed to me in September 2016. We were engaged! Fast forward a few weeks after the engagement and I felt flulike one night. However, it wasn’t going to be the flu. I ended up going to the ER multiple times, receiving spinal taps, multiple imaging, round the clock blood draws, and finally a week-long stay in the hospital. My gallbladder was shutting down; my liver was saying “wait for me, gallbladder,” and was severely inflamed, swollen, and slowing down functionally. I. was. a. painful. mess. After a week in the hospital, we weren’t any further on figuring out the cause, so I begged to be discharged and to resume bedrest in the comfort of my own home. Thy finally acquiesced, and I was sent home
About a month later, the active liver infection had subsided to where the doctors could safely remove my gallbladder with less fear of spreading the infection. So, the gallbladder was removed and spirits were lifted with the hope that we had finally apprehended the culprit. If I could go back in time, I would’ve stopped myself from having that procedure.
Felt worse after the operation and wasn’t able to keep food down. I’m 5’7, and my weight was plummeting to almost double-digits. I was emaciated. My family took me to Johns Hopkins and countless specialists to figure out what was going on. I was experiencing a worsening of current symptoms, and new symptoms were popping up like daisies. Diagnoses like lymphoma, lupus, and a slew of other diseases were considered. I was bombarded with medical terms, poked and prodded almost daily, and my mental state was growing darker. The end was nowhere in sight.
After a chance encounter with a seamstress who worked with some of my friends, we started randomly talking about health. As I was explaining my story, she just looked at me with such understanding and compassion. Something in her eyes was different. She proceeded to to me about her daughter’s health story, and the similarities were remarkable. She told me that her daughter had Lyme disease, and she gave me the name of the doctor who had finally been able to provide some relief for her. When you’re at the end of your rope like I was, you’re willing to try anything at that point. I made an appointment with the doctor with zero hope of success. But, I was wrong.
At my appointment, the doctor surprised me with such compassion and knowledge, finishing my sentences as if she had been journeying right beside me and knew, firsthand, my pain. She ran tests that NO ONE else had, finding chronic Lyme disease, tick-born co-infections that can accompany Lyme, pneumonia bacteria, MRSA, biotin illness markers, and so much more. The Lyme had destroyed my immune system, providing a non-discriminating breeding ground for toxins and infections. I was immediately started on IV therapy and a multitude of meds and supplements, physical therapy, and TCM (Traditional Chinese medicine).
I’m currently still on this journey, but I can safely say that I see the end. Mentally, I’m more of the positive, upbeat, and determined girl I used to be. I’m in less pain, and I’m fighting my ass of against the Lyme.
It will not beat me.
It turns out that my doctor almost died from Lyme because it had gone so long undiagnosed. She had the personal and professional sense to go beyond her medical textbooks and protocols to save herself and help others. Lyme is So fickle, because it’s a master mimicker, and it’s vastly unknown and unrecognized in the medical community. We have little understanding of its complexity, which makes it that much more scary and deadly.
I wanted to share this story with you guys in the hopes that whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone. We have all felt ugly, hopeless, sick, in pain, but we don’t have to suffer in silence. I wallowed in my self consciousness and pain away from others, but that only perpetuated the disease’s hold on me. When I express my inner struggles and pushed myself to be open and vulnerable-to be weak in front of people, I felt such strength, such determination to regain the reins on my life. It’s not to say that I don’t still heavily rely on my treatment protocol or that I don’t feel excruciating pain, because I do. But, the power of positivity, coupled with prayer nd a strong support system can be even more impactful than the drugs I take. If you read all of this, then you’re the real hero of this story, haha!
If you’re struggling with health or with anything, please know that you’re not alone, and I’d love to hear what struggles you’ve overcome or are still working through. Let’s be each others’ support systems! Cheers to you superheroes, and I can’t wait to see you in my closet again.
XO,
Sarah
P.S. I’ve linked some of my favorite crop top tees that are similar to this and some different Moto legging options for different price points. Enjoy!
